Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence

Increased Client Traffic by 7,800%

Which cost client 12,700% more money buying Google Ads, but don’t pay attention to that part.

Reduced Cost Per Conversion by 70%

By moving the goalposts. Pre case study only an online purchase was a conversion, post case study a 5 second pageview is a conversion, but don’t pay attention to that part.

90% Increase in Conversions

21 to 40 on a month over month basis which, in the real world, means volatility tends to be high when volume is low. In other breaking news, water…. usually wet.

Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence

Which is why I don’t make extraordinay claims. I make one claim. If I decide to take your business I’ll work side by side with you and your team to turn Google into a profitable customer acquisition channel for your business. Is that as good as a 7,800% increase in traffic? Nope. It’s better.

What’s the Goal?

Is the goal traffic? If yes, I can crush that goal. I’ll give you bot traffic or people who accidently clicked a full page ad between candy crush games on the free app.

Is the goal conversions? If yes, I can crush that goal, I’ll move to goalpost so a conversion means a click where the person didn’t click the back button for 5 whole seconds.

Is the goal real profitable customers? Uuumm. Ya Know… Results may vary… uuuhhhh…. That’s what you’ll hear from the digital marketing agencies which aren’t either in the top 20% of best performance digital marketing agencies or in the top 20% of believeable salesman liars. I’m better than both of them because when you hire me you get a motivated person with more than a decade of experince doing the work himself. You’ll never get that with either a lying salesman or the top agency.

That’s what we actually do that’s different

I’m somewhere between hate it and don’t care about it when it comes to advertising. I don’t get excited about the new Nike spot that won all the awards. Tell me about likes? I don’t care. Tell me about pageviews? Irrelevant. Tell me about money that just cleared my business account? Whoa, hey, sounds good, let’s have a conversation. I prefer my clients to be of the same opinion. To my mind, advertising is good in exact proportion to which it produces profit.

Who Are My Clients?

My clients are smart entreprenuers who see the value of turning Google Search into a profitable customer acquisition channel. They work as hard or harder than I do. They are as smart or smarter than I am. They may or may not get spiritual fulfillment from what they do, but they love life and do business honestly. That’s who I want to work with.

What Do I Do?

I use a solid understanding of how Google works, developed over 12 years of 40+ hours per week pounding a keyboard and staring at a monitor, to help my clients acquire customers with Google Search. I mix in a little bit of high school to 200 level university math (tops, more often 8th grade math) and statistics to help my clients detatch from emotions and make decisions based on data. Since pretty much everybody is more driven by relationships and emotions than metrics that matter, this provides a significant competitive advantage.

Well Obviously, Everyone Wants That

Yeah… no they don’t. People are emotional beings. They make decisions based on emotions, relationships, moods, what their kids like, really anything except data. I’m no exception in most aspects of my life, so there’s no judgement here, but with selling stuff on Google I’ve managed to create a habitual detatchment. This allows me to perform a dispassionate analysis of the data and make decisions based on what the customers are telling me with their website use and purchase behavior.

But The Data is Confusing

Yep. Sure is. It doesn’t help that most of the disingenuous and unethical actors who have been shilling advertising that doesn’t sell anything to anyone ever when it was in print/tv/radio form, saw the opportunity in digital and have been selling their same brand of bullshit in an attractive, interactive package since the early days. At this point even the local TV and radio rep is telling you about how “data driven” their approach is. Meanwhile they are using the survey results of 40 people in Medford, Oregon who write down what they watch on TV and put the notebook in the mailbox to price the TV ads they sell if you’re in the unfortunate position of buying ads in that market. Big DMAs aren’t much better with the unrepresentative sample of people willing to put a bunch of Nielson tracker boxes in their home. Even website metrics are easily manipulated, unless you have someone who knows what they’re looking at to analyze the data. I have seen hundreds of spams, scams, ripoffs, nonsense, and bull**** and I’m paid exclusively to advocate for you. I win if and only if you win and decide to keep working with me. #datadriven

Figures Don’t Lie but Liars Can Figure

There’s no question that it’s difficult to understand the metrics that matter for your business. It’s easy to hear about how “traffic is up 40%” or “we’re seeing a 95% increase in impressions” and not understand how those ad campaigns actually have a neutral or negative impact on bottom line. People who sell ads and marketing services generally display a shocking level of confirmation bias. Where they are 100% confident you’ll get a bazillion customers per week, Samurai Direct Response puts you through all this gross, expensive, time consuming hard work, A/B testing, and staying the course through volatility stuff. It’s painful, I get it, but is our approach the correct one if you want to be successful long term?

The Real Metric is Customer Lifetime Value

The customer lifetime value concept is not a new one. The great thing about CLV is that it is simple not easy to measure. Measuring CLV close enough to it to make it useful provides much more insight into how your digital marketing is impacting your bottom line than measuring any other metric, but your competitors don’t do it. At Samurai Direct Response, the only metric we care about is customer lifetime value.

Our team has spent over $30 Million dollars for our clients on Google Ads over the years, and worked closely with every type of business from soloprenuers to enterprise brands. We’ve seen how digital marketing impacts customer lifetime value from dozens of different angles. Even when my clients had different goals, I always looked for ways to measure and optimize for customer lifetime value, while achieving other stated client goals when I was working for organizations in which I was not a controlling member.

What’s your customer lifetime value? How do you calculate it? What impact do the ads you buy have on customer lifetime value? If these are questions you care about, but don’t know the answer to off hand, consider becoming a client. The first step is to schedule a complimentary 30 minute call. Click here to do that.

Ordinary Claim

I claim that a business which provides a good product/service and has an owner who cares enough to make it successful, can profitably acquire customers through Google with my help. I could make all the ridiculous claims that any of my competitors make 10x if I reviewed every client I ever did work for and looked for the data points which support my confirmation bias. I don’t do that. I just make promises I know I can deliver on. I can help you profitably acquire customers through Google. If that sounds like something you’d like to do, please schedule a call.

Ordinary Evidence

Want ordinary evidence? I’ve got you. My homepage testimonials are from real people I’ve met, worked with and spent money on ads with. You can also read testimonials for my business which are third party verified on Clutch.co If you book a call and we might be good fit, I’d be happy to provide you with a previous client who can provide a personal reference. My long term clients recieve a steady stream of customers which produce significatly more revenue than they cost to generate. I’d be happy to back up that claim. If purchasing that as a service sounds interesting, let’s talk.

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